First Letter Frenzy (a Facebook survey)

                                                                Rules:

Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real; nothing made up. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your own name for the boy/girl name question.

Cheese 'n' Rice! Like readin' a freakin' legal contract....

1. What is your name:
Dan (Dan Dan Bo Ban Fee Fi Fo Fan Ohhhhhhhhh Dan)

2. A four Letter Word:
Dick. (The boys NAME, people! sheesh)

3. A boy's Name:
Dagwood. (And not just the cartoon guy--It's real. I looked it up.)

4. A girl's Name:
Delilah. (Tom Jones, with pants tight and chest bare, sang about her. So tragic.)

5. An occupation:
Dragon Slayer. (Business was better in the middle ages, I hear.)

6. A color:
Damson. (Yeah, like I knew THAT off the top of my head....)

7. Something you'll wear:
Dickie. (Yes, my mom had little turtleneck dickies for Jon and I to wear under our sweaters when we were wee lads.)

8. A book title:
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? (Own it. Read it.)

9. A food:
Duck. (Just don't try to picture it alive.)

10. Something found in the bathroom:
Drowning bugs. (Woe be unto any earwigs found scuttling about the tub at shower time.)

11. A place:
Dublin. (Pink Hearts, Orange Stars, Yellow Moons, Green Clovers, and--NEW--Blue Diamonds!)

12. A reason for being late:
Dead. (It's the ultimate excuse.)

13. Something you'd shout:
Damn it! I'm tired of you trying to confuse this girl's mind! This is her big chance and yours too! You know there are stars in Princeton the same way there are in Hollywood Jack. You want out, you want me to cable Harvard or Yale and get Kong another keeper? (I would shout this if I were Charles Grodin and it was 1976.)

14. A movie title:
Donovan's Brain. (A DEAD MAN'S BRAIN IN A HIDDEN LABORATORY TOLD HIM TO KILL... KILL... KILL... KILL... KILL...)

15. Something you drink:
Dr. Pepper. (Wouldn't YOU like to be a pepper too?)

16. A musical group:
Dokken. (To be shouted while wearing sleevless tshirt and holding lighter above head.)

17. An animal:
Dinosaurus! Alive With Thrills! Today's most astounding adventure...that started a million years ago! (Well, it's a movie ABOUT a dinosaur, which IS an animal....)

18. A street name:
Dan Drive (not far from my very own home.)

19. A type of car:
DeSoto. Coupé, 1939. (A fine looking automobile....)

20. The title of a song:
D'ya Think I'm Sexy (MmHmmm, SING it Rod...)

today...

... as I stepped into the shower, I did my usual spider-check: tub--clear. walls--clear. shower curtain--clear. Then I happened to glance up at the ceiling and saw

THE
SCARIEST
SPIDER
EVER.

It was big as a house.

Well, of course, showering with the beast ready to drop onto my unprotected noggin was out of the question. Luckily, I keep a house-sized glass mason jar for just such emergencies.

I made a run to the kitchen for the jar and, after a brief scuffle, had the eight legged fiend inside. Having first seen the spider on my ceiling should have clued me in that it was a climber, but I didn't (clue-in) until it made an immediate dash up the jar's side toward the open top.

Another mad dash to the kitchen for plastic wrap and it was my hapless prisoner. I was once again in the showering business. You wanna see a picture...?

GAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!