der doktor

so I went to the doctor again and he looked through a microscope while he pushed a teeny tiny metal thing into my ear and he said this is gonna hurt but i won't keep the pressure on for long just push and release, push and release he said. but i'll tell you it hurt like the dickens - not that i even know what a dickens is, but i've heard people say that so i guess dickens must hurt pretty bad since this guy is pushing on my EARDRUM with a metal stick and i am telling you right now there are some things that are meant to never ever be touched and the EARDRUM is one of them because i thought my head was going to blow up like a bomb. but then he stopped and said shit (he's a swearing doctor) i think i might have screwed up by taking that tube out (he's also an honest doctor) - he means the tube he'd just popped out of my eardrum a few minutes ago just before he got that metal stick out - and i said that's not very comforting and he shrugged and said you might have a bone infection in your mastoid process and i said yeah so what do we do about that? and he said try to clear it up with steroids and antibiotics or mastoid surgery if that doesn't work and i thought maybe i'll just ask what that is another time because it sounds a little more invasive than just a couple of tubes in the eardrum and besides i feel sick and have a WHOPPING HEADACHE from the metal stick and i have to come back in a week anyway.